Bar fights couldn’t be more common.
One minute you’re enjoying conversation over a pint or two, or three, of perfectly poured Scottish Ale. The moment is all smiles, revelry and friendly shit-talking, right up until you crack the wrong joke at the wrong time.
In that very next moment, you could have a mouth-breathing meathead in a backwards Seahawks hat and popped-polo shirt combo huffing and puffing two inches from your face. What’s the first thing you do?
Former UFC Heavyweight Champion Bas Rutten would tell you to quickly assess the threat. If it’s just talk, then by all means, avoid physical confrontation. This is always the last resort. But as Bas says, if there’s a real risk, you have to “cancel the other guy out.”
Bas’ steps for winning a bar fight
- Take a small step back to create distance.
- Quickly and forcefully “pop” the threat in the nose with your forehead…Don’t be shy.
- If the other guy has the same idea, block the incoming headbutt by lowering your face and exposing the top of your head. You won’t have to do that twice.
- If you get a finger in the chest, grab it and break it!
- Now that you’re in control, quickly remove the threat with rapid strikes to the face. One or two should be plenty, but kick if you must. Some threats are bigger and more stubborn than others.
- Drama is your next best offense. As Bas tell’s his daughters, be crazy! Go wild, make noise. Once you’re known as “the crazy bitch” you will never have to fight again. That’s the best outcome.
You never want to fight anyone. In fact, avoid it at all costs. But that said, it’s nice to be prepared for anything.